The Road to Happiness

Nourished Minds is here to help anyone going through eating disorder recovery find happiness. Recovery is a complex, non-linear process, and it can make happiness seem distant and unattainable, but happiness can be found in and throughout recovery, not just after it. This page will cover what happiness actually means, how eating disorders interfere with it, and research-supported strategies for reclaiming it.

The big question is: what is happiness? Unfortunately, happiness can't be accurately defined. In his book Happier, Tal Ban-Shahar says "words like pleasure, bliss, ecstasy, and contentment are often used interchangeably with the word happiness, but none of them describes precisely what I mean when I think about happiness. These emotions are fleeting, and while they are enjoyable and significant, they are not the measure—or the pillars—of happiness". The following models are great ways to break down the abstract concept of happiness. 

THE S.P.I.R.E. MODEL: 

The SPIRE model separates happiness into five components. 

Spiritual

"Spiritual wellbeing is about finding a sense of meaning and happiness. It can certainly be religious, but it doesn't have to be. [...] We also experience spiritual wellbeing when we're present in the here and now, rather than being distracted by the then and there. When we're mindful, we elevate ordinary experiences to extraordinary ones"(Ben-Shahar).

Physical

"This is about the mind-body connection and the impact they have on each other. Physical wellbeing is about taking care of ourselves through activities like exercise and inactivity in the form of rest and recovery. We nourish our physiological and psychological wellbeing when we eat healthfully and touch lovingly"(Ben-Shahar).

Intellectual

"We need to exercise our mind and learn new things. [...] Research shows that people who constantly ask questions and are eager to learn are not just happier, but are also healthier. In fact, curiosity contributes to longevity"(Ben-Shahar).

Relational 

"The number one predictor of happiness is quality time we spend with people we care about and who care about us. We are social animals and need to connect, to belong. But it's not just about relationships with others—it's also about our relationship with ourselves. Blaise Pascal, the French philosopher, once said, 'All of humanity's problems stem from man's inability to sit quietly in a room alone.' Isolation doesn't have to be isolating, and we'll look at how to cultivate healthier and happier relationships even when apart from loved ones"(Ben-Shahar).

Emotional

"Are our feelings both honored and balanced? What do we do with painful emotions when they arise, which they inevitably will? How do we cultivate more pleasurable emotions, like joy, gratitude, and excitement? And how can we reside on higher planes of wellbeing for longer rather than merely enjoy temporary peaks?"(Ben-Shahar).

These five components are the foundations of happiness. 

Eating disorders affect every aspect of one's life. Some of the biggest ways are as follows:

Emotional restriction: 

EDs often suppress emotions and disconnect people from pleasure and meaning.
 

Physical Deprivation

Malnutrition affects brain chemistry, mood regulation, concentration, and energy. 

Cognitive Distortions

Perfectionism, rigidity, body dissatisfaction, and obsessive thinking patterns make happiness feel conditional or unreachable.
 

Social Isolation

EDs often strain relationships, reduce social engagement, and increase shame—reducing relational well-being.
 

Identity Narrowing

EDs often limit a person's sense of self, purpose, and autonomy.

There are a lot of ways to cope with an eating disorder, and what works for one may not work for another. Here's a few of Nourished Minds' favorites: 

Gratitude

Gratitude is an extremely effective tool for supporting mental health and wellbeing. In recovery, it's important to focus on strengthening all areas of health, not just one's relationship with food. According to an article published by the National Institute of Health, "Gratitude is the appreciation of what is valuable and meaningful to oneself and represents a general state of thankfulness and/or appreciation"(Sansone & Sansone). Gratitude brings positivity into our lives by drawing our focus to our fortune and blessings instead of our hardships. 

Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a common tool that can be practiced many ways. Whether it's intuitive eating, meditation, yoga, or otherwise, mindfulness is incredibly valuable in recovery. In Ruth A. Baer's book Mindfulness Based Treatment Approaches, she remarks that "when mindfulness is taught, thoughts, emotions, and sensations are interpreted as interesting phenomena to observe rather than to judge (including observing the experience of judging) and as events to be noted rather than changed. By experiencing thoughts, emotions, and sensations as independent of external events, a practitioner of mindfulness can more easily "decenter" from anxious, previously conditioned, internal experiences".

Building self-esteem 

According to an article in the International Journal of Eating Disorders, "self-esteem is broadly defined as an appraisal of one's self-worth (Rosenberg, Schooler, Schoenbach, & Rosenberg, 1995). Meta-analytic work found that self-esteem predicted improved eating disorder outcomes (defined differently across the reviewed studies) 1 year following treatment (Vall & Wade, 2015)."(Bardone-Cone, et al.). Building self-esteem gives individual in recovery a good foundation for self-love that can make repairing their relationship with food easier. 

Improving body image 

Research shows that including body image work in eating disorder recovery is overwhelmingly helpful. In an article exploring this topic, Catherine P. Cook-Cottone says "central to each of the eating disorders is an individual's relationship to his or her body as evidenced by how the body is experienced, fed, cared for, and accepted. Accordingly, cultivation of positive body image may play a powerful role in the treatment of eating disorders". Many, though not all, eating disorders stem from dislike, even hatred, of one's body. Addressing the root of the problem encourages successful and sustainable recovery. One study found that "greater body appreciation was associated with lower consumption of appearance-focused media, self-objectification, social comparison, and thin-ideal internalization (Andrew, Tiggemann, & Clark, 2016), as well as lower levels of attention to thin-related images (Tobin, Barron, Sears, & von Ranson, 2019). There is also evidence to suggest that higher levels of body appreciation are associated with lower levels of negative body image and disordered eating as well as greater psychological well-being"(Koller, et al.).

First and foremost, it's important to validate this: recovery is HARD. It is no small feat to bounce back from an eating disorder, and it's completely normal to struggle with finding or maintaining happiness while doing so much hard work to restore your health. However, there is not only light at the end of the tunnel. There are windows letting light in the whole way through, you just have to be brave enough to open to curtains.